Homesickness

I’ve been here in the US for a month and a half now, so I’ve settled in quite a bit. Those of you who have moved anywhere before will be familiar with one of the patterns of homesickness. There is the initial month or so, where everything is amazing, and then you hit a down period when everything sucks and you just want to go back. That’s where I am right now. For the past week or so, I’ve hated my classes, my apartment and my city. I woke up the other morning and realised how strange that is, since I loved everything two weeks ago, so I decided to learn a bit more about homesickness.

First of all, homesickness is completely natural. Everyone experiences some degree of it, so you are not some kind of freak for not loving every moment of your new home. One thing that grad school definitely entails, which can make homesickness worse, is high demands (on time and brain power). On the other hand, grad schools usually have a built in support system that can help is the homesickness starts seriously affecting your studies or doesn’t go away after a few weeks. I guess I’ll have to take the good with the bad. In my case, there are a few compounding factors. I dislocated a shoulder a couple of weeks ago, and right when I got my arm cleared to do things again, I caught the fresher’s flu and was out for another week. On top of that, I’m not quite as prepared as I should be in analysis, so the extra work I’m doing there is adding stress. Grad school is also very likely the first time you won’t be one of the smartest people in the room. I found it very inspiring at first, but when the homesickness hit me, it added to the stress and pressure. I’m struggling to get back to a place where it is a blessing to be around so many brilliant people every day, but I’ll get there.

Now, for coping methods: These are a combination of what I’ve been doing, that already helped me feel better, and what various other sources recommend. Again, if you feel like it’s too much for you to handle, go talk to a professional. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. One thing that always works for me is working out. Due to all the health problems above, I hadn’t been doing that very much, but now I’m back on my yoga mat, as of 2 days. Another good things is spending time with new friends. The homesickness tells you that your new friends suck and only your old friends understand you. it lies. Spend some time with your new friends (I recommend Cards Against Humanity – great way to really get to know someone) and you’ll see that while they will never replace your old friends, they add something new. Speak of your old friends, arrange a Skype session, or send them a postcard from your new home. Go for a walk in your new neighbourhood (that word now gives me topology flashbacks) and try to find five things you like about it. I took my yoga mat to the park and enjoyed the proximity to the park, the weather (yoga outdoors in September is unthinkable where I’m from), the number of people who smiled at me, petting a very nice dog who was also on a walk, and an IHOP brunch afterwards. It helped me realise that there are a lot of good things about my new place.

I’m not quite back on track yet, but I expect that I will be shortly. I’m going to be better about blogging then, and maybe tell you some about my new, exciting research project.